a smile...

Walking home the other night, we witnessed a child being "beaten". My heart was breaking!

Walking through the market to buy groceries and a woman, clearly homeless, asks me for money. My heart was breaking!

Listening to the endless stories of my girls and what they go through on a daily basis. My heart was breaking!

Hearing of Haitian teachers who have worked for YEARS without a cent in pay. My heart was breaking!

Everyday my heart breaks a little more for these people that I love.  How can I help? What can I do? And then it hits me...I can smile!

What? Smile? How can you smile in those moments? Well, when I remember who is in charge, who loves each of these people MORE than I do, who has promised to be there, I can smile in TRUST!

I can smile with these people and help them to remember the same thing.  That doesn't mean I don't HURT for them and with them!  It just means that I am choosing to trust God to do what only He can do.  I can't stop all the beatings. I can't find a home for all the homeless. I can't shelter my girls from the lives they have to live. I can't pay all the teachers who haven't been paid. There are so many things I can't do BUT I can smile with each one and remind them that there is a God who is bigger than all this!

I was walking down the street with a heavy heart this morning. I looked up and a young girl smiled at me.  I realized how much joy filled my heart just by her simple smile.  I am so thankful that we have the confidence to smile because we know that God is in control of all this.  I want to be quick to smile!

Update on my week filled with Anxiety...

Well, I just wanted to let you all know that I made it through the week before school AND the first week of school.  Praise the Lord!

Things didn't get easier!  They actually got harder and more frustrating BUT I was able, on most occasions, to remember that I was not alone!  When I started to get frustrated, anxious or overwhelmed, I would remember to say, "okay, God, I can't do this without you" and every time WITHOUT FAIL he gave me the peace I needed to make it through!

There were many tears shed and moments before the reminder that were tough but with God's help I made it through!

Thanks for your prayers!  Please continue to pray for me and Scott and our boys.  I know many more frustrating moments will happen this year.  I will forget to be thankful. I will allow myself to feel overwhelmed and anxious.  But, I will continue to practice turning to God as quickly as I can and allowing him to fill me with his peace and strength!

So thankful we have a FAITHFUL God!

Anxious and Overwhelmed

Those should not be the words that describe me right now but if I am completely honest…THEY ARE. I know I shouldn’t be worried about things…that is very specifically said to us in scripture! But…

We are back home in Haiti.  It is HOT. I have new classes this year that I am trying to put together.  School starts next Monday-less than a week away. We have a new puppy. My house is DIRTY from weeks of neglect. I am overwhelmed. I am anxious.

Isaiah 40:27-31

“Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, ‘God has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me’? Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? God doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young fold in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.”

In all the stress of coming back and getting started, I am gently reminded moment by moment to lean on my God who loves me.  My God who gives me strength to get it ALL done. My God who has blessed me with an amazing husband. My God who has blessed me with two precious boys. My God who has unexpectedly blessed us with a new little puppy who brightens our evenings with laughter and play. My God who gives me peace-unexplainable. My God is amazing! He is gentle with me. Never angry or harsh. Gently, he reminds me He is there!  Gently, he refocuses my thoughts to where they should be.  WOW! 

I am working on not being anxious and overwhelmed this week.  When all of me turns toward those feelings I am reminded to whisper his name.  What instant peace. Just by saying his name.

Instead of focusing on all the “things” that need to be done I am going to work on being thankful!  I am thankful that God chooses to use me here in this country, in this city, in this school, in these students and friends lives.  I am thankful that I am challenged with new things. I am thankful that it isn’t freezing. That one sounds funny to me but honestly I have to find something to be thankful in each “thing” that seems like a frustration. 

Pray for us this week as we prepare for the new year.  The college is growing.  We have a lot of new hearts that need to hear about this amazing God we have!  Pray that we will have our focus on Him so that He can work through us and use us to reach these people that he loves.

Thankfully, with God's help I can choose to turn anxious and overwhelming thoughts into thoughts of thankfulness!

Summer 2015

It's a quiet morning so I thought I would blog. It has been a great summer!  We have spent time with family, time with friends, time alone - just the four of us, time playing, and time resting.
Scott and I have had a lot of time to reflect on our life and the opportunities that God has given to us as a family.  We are able to spend WEEKS together just enjoying each other and the things we love...what a BLESSING!  We are so thankful this time we have together!

 I love my moments with my friend, Wendy!

 Time with friends-they have known each other their whole lives!

 I love watching these two together!  We are blessed with GREAT friends!

 Together!

 Our Family...Hollen Side

 Love my family!

 Blessed to spend time with my Dad and Shai!

 Fun in Branson with my Family

 Look out me'hardy! :)

 Precious and FUN moments!

 My beautiful sisters!

Fun with Cousins!

It's the Students' Turn to Grade Me

I have just finished my first year working with the Sonlight Bible College.  Wow!  It has been an AMAZING year!  God knew what he was doing when he transitioned me from 4th graders to adults!  If you read one of the blogs from about a year ago, you know that I really felt led to make the change from the Academy to the College.  I was wondering how this year would go: would I miss my 4th graders, would I enjoy teaching computers, would my schedule work well for my family?  God completely blessed every area of my life this year.  I LOVED working with the adults, I LOVED teaching computer, and our FAMILY time has never been better! 

However, sometimes when I am in the midst of "doing life" I don't really know if I am making a difference.  How is God using me in these computer classes?  I tried to center my class around Jesus and his love for me and my students but was I accomplishing anything?

The final I gave to my seniors this year ended up being my HIGHLIGHT!  I had them type a paragraph or two about what their computer class (Microsoft Word 1, 2, and 3) has taught them.  I was teary eyed and speechless as I read some of their comments.  I want to share some of them with you.  I am so thankful that God chose to use me with these amazing students and in this capacity...Enjoy!  (my words to help clarify)

Student 1

This class has been very important for me for two big reasons.  Firstly, it had helped me to have knowledge about informatics (computer) science.  Actually, everyone is suppose to known information about computer, about how to do research on the internet, about many things at university.  Informatics are up to date.  Without it, a person is uneducated. I think so, it was very nice for Director Scott and Mme Scott to introduce this course at SBC for the students.
Secondly, this class had helped me to prepare my thesis at SBC. I was very surprised for the patience of Mme Scott for helping me to format my research.  I think so, without this, it would be very difficult for me to do good work in my thesis.  In the same order of idea, I can say, it would be impossible for me to participate at the graduation of my promotion this year.
For this reasons, I like this class and I pray for Mme Scott, the teacher of this class and for SBC for continuing this kind of education at Port-de-Paix. 

Student 2

Learning how to use to manipulate a computer has always been my goal. This computer class has helped me in a way fulfilled my dream. I learned a lot things from this class. I can personally say that I have almost no problem with Word for I need.  I learned work with a picture, use the ctrl and shift keys to do something faster. I many things from Word 1, Word 2 and Word 3. I learned the basic words about computer in Word 1. In Word 2, I learned how to crop pictures.  In Word 3, I learned how to open two different documents. Group pictures, Insert a bibliography, have an idea about the quantity of specific words in a text, and also the way a word by another one.

Word 3 helped me a lot with my thesis. Without Word 3, I might a lot problem to put an end to my thesis, especially in the format, the page cover, starting at the page 0 etc… Helped was designed to help students improve their thesis.

 

Student 3

The Computer Class is a special class for me, it helps me a lot. Before I take this class, I knew a little bit about how to type or to create things. By taking this class I become better, and I know a lot of things I didn’t know before. Then I realize it is a good class I have ever taken. I like this class and I like the way the professor teach us this class. Thus, I would like to come next year to continue to take this class.

Student 4

At Sonlight Bible College there is a very wonderful computer class every Monday and Wednesday and then, lots of students gather together to learn about computer skills. We have a beautiful and intelligent teacher who love us so much. During this short time, we have learned many things about computer.
In Word One, we have the opportunity to know how we can turn on a computer and so many things concerning the desktop, keyboard…windows generally. In Word two, we know how to type in Mavis Beacon and sometimes, the teacher covered our hands, it’s hard to know where we have to place our finger and it’s also funny. In word three, the last one and the most important thing, we know how to write a theses and add foot notes in a text. We used to insert images, make a calendar, type with speed and very creative in our work. We can make an anniversary card and other….It’s not the end, we would to continue and know more about computer. Even though we finish at Sonlight Bible College, we will come and pursue with our studies if Mr. Scott add some other courses in the College. The technology class is very important for us.

 

Student 5

The computer class was one the best class I have ever done, during the five years I experienced at sonlight Bible College. Through that class I learned: how to create a document, the position of the fingers, how to manage the keyboard, different parts of the computer, and how to work on word document.
The computer class was very helpful and confident. The professor is very patient and kindness, she always be there to help any student and friend of us, then we will never forget this class.

 

Student 6

Since 2010 I have been at son light bible college Microsoft word is one of my favorite classes that I enjoy. I remember before taking that class, I did not know how type without looking on the screen. Now with Madame Scott by the processes of covering my eyes, I type by knowing the position of each word.
Madame Scott I am so proud of you. You have done all that you can to help us knowing every things in Word. I wish next year I will be there to continue studying, enjoying excel with you. May God in grace face shines upon you, May he walks beside you and blesses you, your family

Student 7

This class is part of my favorite class at SBC. There, without it my thesis paper as senior doesn’t make any sense. It is a very helpful class, and it is also the funnest and  most interesting class ever. Word class help me on all circumstances. Sometime I feel bored, but arriving in word class boredness goes out. We have a very good teacher, I mean good, because she always gentle with everyone, very patient with everyone. May God continue to cover her with more blessing. Thank you!

Student 8

Those classes were very helpful for me because I learn many things that can help me to prepare well my notes. As teacher, you were very patient and always ready to help those who need help. I have learned many things that can help in two ways: first to be a better teacher and second to have aptitude to make people understand.
According to me, I think that I am ready to be a good secretary now. I want to use all those things in these ways: 1) to have good notes for my sermon 2) in the future if I will have to write a thesis, I realize I have enough to present it the way I should. Continue that way. I pray God to give you more wisdom to do that work.

Student 9

Informatics’  (computer) class was a very good class for me. It help me a lot in using Microsoft word because I learn a lot of things that I did know how to do them before such: grouping, making my own calendar, bibliography, create foot notes ect.... It also help me to fix some points that usually I use without knowing exactly in what way to use them. It also help me to increase my speed in typing and improve my English.

It was a fun class with a great professor. So, thank you for your patience, kindness and for the good method that you used for this class.

 

Student 10

This Year I have a great computer Class, because God bless me with Miss Lindsay Alexander.  I would wish she teaches my last son Christian. (Christian was a 4th grader this year) But God choses her for me .I am very happy. I discover many new things about computer, many Words for example. Ribbon, Monitor, CPU and many information. She is very smart and Strong sometimes I am slow in class she understand me and very patient with me and each Student. I Love that

Word 2 and 3 are very interesting, with tab lists, create table. Translation, Dictation. I like story book .The First time I create my story about Jesus It’s very funny. This year  I understand  many information about Thesis ,a great work with my teacher, Bibliography ,footnotes My last class today I am very sad to leave your class but happy because you can visit again your dear Mom  and your family. God bless you Thanks you.

Student 11

These classes helped me a lot, and firstly I want to thank  God for this opportunity I had , and I want to thank Sonlight, specially you Mme Scott who has been patient with me, and I really appreciate the way you taught me as woman and your name will stay in my memory  forever. Thank you so much for reminding me things that I already learned and now become new in my life

I hope next year to be with if I will have chance to learn more about computer at Sonlight and God will protect and bless you, your family and your ministry everywhere you will be to teach. And now I know more about computer and I to do things Wonderful in my life. Thank you for helping me during this period, I really appreciate the way you did.

 

 

Here is something I can be joyful about right now...

                                             Cameron made the choice to Follow Jesus!!!

Joyful in all circumstances...How?

I have been sitting here trying to write a blog about what to do with the anger and pain that we experience when something bad happens...I can't!

I am not yet to the place where I can be joyful in this circumstance-my mom's cancer returning! I am not okay with it and I am angry.  Yesterday I was reminded by a couple of my friends that it is okay to be angry and to share that with God-being honest with him.  So, here it go: I am angry that this is happening AGAIN, I am angry that I am so far away, I am angry that this is happening to the most amazing woman I know...I am angry.

And yet...I TRUST God! I trust what he wants! I trust Him to be in control because He loves her more than I do...which is more than I can imagine because I love her as much as humanly possible! I trust Him to take care of her!  I trust Him to heal her (in HIS timing and plan).  I HATE that all this is happening more than I can express in words BUT I do TRUST in our amazing God who LOVES us more than we can comprehend. 

So, when does the joy come?  I honestly don't know yet.  I can be thankful that mom was able to catch this in the early stages. I can be thankful that she has a great doctor. I can be thankful that the rest of my family is there for her.  But, JOY?  Maybe those things I am thankful for - if I can choose to concentrate on them will help bring me the joy that James says I should have.  Maybe if I continue to focus on the Strength that Jesus gives us in our weakness I could have that joy that shows up no matter what.

I am still learning how to be joyful in all circumstances...THAT isn't an easy one!  I will just try, moment by moment, to lean on God's strength. I will try, moment by moment, to remember that His way is perfect. I will try, moment by moment, to remember that He loves us enough to give his son's life for us. I will try, moment by moment, to remember that our God is GOOD!

Psalm 30:5 says that our weeping my last through the night but joy comes in the morning.  I am not sure how long that "night" lasts but I am sure looking forward to the morning!